Check out our all-new Shorts!

“The truth is treason in the empire of lies.”

-George Orwell

YEAR OLD SLIME SCANDAL RELATED TO BREAK IN AT THE SISTINE CHAPEL!?

The Raccoon Post is a news website dedicated to providing readers with somewhat up-to-date information and insights on the latest happenings around the the 2km I know of. Our team of (in) experienced journalists and writers work hard to ensure that our content is mostly accurate, engaging, and somewhat informative.

Here at The Raccoon Post, we believe that staying some what informed is the first step towards building a future where we I am in control, I mean what-! Our team of sort of seasoned journalists and writers are committed to delivering ok-quality, unrelevant news and insights on the latest happenings from around the other 2km I don't know about. From local events to the issues like me having a hangnail, we cover what matters the second most to our readers.

We believe strongly in a future where I am in control making our readers laugh and stay informed on the most unimportant happenings around the clock. Whether our latest article is about a civet, a suspicious watermelon slice or even Mort the Lemur’s foot fetish, we exist to make sure YOU know how unimportant certain news reports can be.

The Raccoon Post is a form of satire not to be taken seriously. Any names, events, people or locales are likely to be made up, fictious, or based off real names, events, people and locales.

Email: info@raccoonpost.com (that is a REAL email)

Call or text: +1 (555) 123-4567 (that is a fake number)

T̸̢̪̤͂̽̋̍͛̒̋̕̕͜͝h̷̰̹̠́̓̏̈̅̆͑̚͝͠e̴̬͖̙͕̅̈́̄͆̔͒̉̋̐͘ ̵̛̠̞̱̦̖̲̥̦͇̀͌͑̈͝r̸̞̹̘͙̜̹̘͋̈́̉́̇̾̓̐̍ͅͅå̴̧̯̮͈͕͙̜̗̒̋͠c̵̨̛̛̩̬͇͈̳͌̽͛̈͗c̵̟͙͈͚͉͝ơ̷͓̯̆̑̔̐̒̏̍ơ̶̟̜̹̩̰̓̀͝͝n̷̮͉̼̞̾̔̔̽̓͋ş̷̩̜̂̀͂̃̈́̓̚̕ ̵̧̡̼͍̬̖͇̩̈́̍̈̇̆̌̾̕͝have ̴̗̾͘r̷̹̜̎͑̈́͑̃͂u̶̡̻̹͖̖̳̳̠̻͐̈̊͋̿̎͗̓͜͝͝l̴̛̛̝͈̩̠̹̈́͊͗̌͌̂̚ͅė̷͔̙̜̚d